Saturday, July 4, 2015

Guilty as Charged

A few weeks ago, I was driving down Highway 15, and just as I left Greenville behind, I saw a yellow traffic sign that read "Centerline Rumble Strips." Only I read it as "Combustible Rumble Strips."

That would certainly get one’s attention! Needless to say, I took a second look and read more carefully.

This experience got me thinking about how we sometimes do things, and wonder afterward… how could I have done that? Or, how could I have thought this was a good idea?
  • Why, oh why, did I steal that pack of gum when my 9-years-old self was frustrated with the clerk who (I thought) was ignoring me?
  • How did I ever believe she’d be a good fit as secretary? (This was years ago.)
  • What possessed me to go tent camping in Wisconsin in June again? 
  • Did I really think we’d eat all those grapes before they went bad?
Maybe for you it’s not about composting fuzzy grapes or going home early from a cold, wet vacation, but we’ve all made bad choices. And experienced living with the consequences.
  • I still remember waiting by the counter in that shop, sweaty from riding my bike, while the clerk left me standing there. I wish I hadn’t taken the gum. I’m sure it didn’t taste right to my young, “lawful-good” self.
  • That secretary didn’t last. 
  • Would you believe I went camping in Bayfield in June just two years ago? Lots of rain and nighttime temps in the 30s! (One of the others in the mission team took pity on me and loaned me a blanket to lay over my sleeping bag.) 
  • I consider composting a great invention. It keeps me from feeling quite so guilty when something in the fridge gets forgotten.
But… Guilt. That’s where I was going with this. How are we to handle it?
What do you do? And how’s that working for you?

There are some actions that demand restitution, but, really, most of them are over and done with right away, or at least soon afterward. It’s only our own sense of guilt that makes us relive them. I read once that guilt is helpful only if it lasts no more than five seconds. That makes a lot of sense.

What to do after you’ve said or done something stupid or wrong or unfortunate?
  1. Admit what you did, without redirecting or avoiding responsibility.
  2. If it helps, go ahead and feel guilty.
  3. Seek forgiveness and make amends. (Forgive yourself!)
  4. Decide how you’ll handle things differently next time.
  5. Now stop feeling guilty, and get back to living (and enjoying) your life.

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