“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ~ William Shakespeare
(Since I'm posting this on the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s birth, I begin with his words. They go with today's theme.)
I started working on this entry last month, but it wasn’t coming together so I set it aside. I continued thinking about it since then.
John Wesley, founder of Methodism, is known for his methodical way of organizing what became the Methodist movement, and later “Church”. (Hence the name Methodist.) One piece of that method was to set up small groups where people would check in weekly, holding each other accountable to a faithful life.
There was some confusion though when these groups started. What were they supposed to be doing? And, how? Part of Wesley’s response was his “General Rules.”
John Wesley, founder of Methodism, is known for his methodical way of organizing what became the Methodist movement, and later “Church”. (Hence the name Methodist.) One piece of that method was to set up small groups where people would check in weekly, holding each other accountable to a faithful life.
There was some confusion though when these groups started. What were they supposed to be doing? And, how? Part of Wesley’s response was his “General Rules.”
Whenever I look at these Rules, I’m reminded again of the genius in the way they’re ordered:
First, do no harm;
Second, do good;
Third, stay in love with God.
All my life I’ve tried to do good, to be good. But it was never enough. I’ve hurt feelings and angered people unnecessarily. When I look at the General Rules, I begin to see why. Unless we first practice doing no harm, the rest will never be enough.
I’ve done plenty of harm, mostly by saying things that could have remained unsaid, or not saying them as carefully as I might have.
I’m a firm advocate for saying hard truths when they need to be heard, regardless of the discomfort they may cause. I believe that failure to provide enough boundaries, including speaking up to adults who are acting out, is one cause of societal ills.
Speaking up is unpopular. It makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s not easy. Still, none of these are good reasons to remain silent when we feel led to speak. For me, the compelling reason to remain silent would be the first of Wesley’s General Rules:
First, do no harm;
Second, do good;
Third, stay in love with God.
All my life I’ve tried to do good, to be good. But it was never enough. I’ve hurt feelings and angered people unnecessarily. When I look at the General Rules, I begin to see why. Unless we first practice doing no harm, the rest will never be enough.
I’ve done plenty of harm, mostly by saying things that could have remained unsaid, or not saying them as carefully as I might have.
I’m a firm advocate for saying hard truths when they need to be heard, regardless of the discomfort they may cause. I believe that failure to provide enough boundaries, including speaking up to adults who are acting out, is one cause of societal ills.
Speaking up is unpopular. It makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s not easy. Still, none of these are good reasons to remain silent when we feel led to speak. For me, the compelling reason to remain silent would be the first of Wesley’s General Rules:
“First: By doing no harm, by avoiding evil of every kind, especially that which is most generally practiced.”Rather old-fashioned wording, but as applicable now as it was nearly 300 years ago. If the words remind you of the Hippocratic Oath, that ancient oath taken by physicians, you’re not mistaken.
Wesley read the ancients deeply, as he tried to find the apostolic church that the contemporary church seemed to have left behind. (He also wrote Primitive Physick, an all-time bestselling medical text.)
How often have any of us jumped in before we knew the whole story? Spoken when we should have first listened? Started solving problems we thought needed solving? Walked away before we realized how much someone needed our presence? How often have we just failed to put a lock on our tongue?
Speaking for myself, many, many times.
The last few years though, I’ve been practicing this Rule. And I seem to be doing better. Funny – I’m not doing more good. I don’t know if I’m even doing as much good. But by working to do no harm, I’ve noticed both that I have less conflict with others and that I feel better.
Oh, I still have plenty of room for improvement. But like I tell the 90-somethings I visit: as long as we're still breathing, God still has things for us to work on.
Love doesn’t do anything wrong to a neighbor;
therefore, love is what fulfills the Law.
therefore, love is what fulfills the Law.
Romans 13:10 CEB
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