Centered and in a Good Place

from "How to Meditate in 5 Simple Steps" personalexcellence.co/blog

It’s only 2 p.m. but it’s been a glorious day so far. I got to lead worship at my new appointment where I was welcomed warmly, both during the services and with a meal afterward. I’m tired but it’s a good tired.

I used the story of Noah and the Ark (Genesis 7) to talk about the in-between time that’s part of healthy transitioning. That was one hefty neutral time! My transition pales in comparison, but I suppose that’s part of its purpose. We all have transitions from one thing that’s ended to something we hope’ll be good (and is sometimes even better) and we often lament that leaving the old and then waiting for the new is terrible. Sometimes it is. Only a cataclysmic event – like a 40 day deluge – could possibly compare with some of the ways that our lives have been broken. Hence, the story.

For the last two months, I’ve been anticipating, and dreading, my move. I knew it would be wonderful, but saying goodbye to all the folks I’ve come to love at the last place was harder than I’d expected.

For some weeks, I’d been counting on my meditation practice to help me sleep. I’d watch a show with Kay, brush my teeth; then I’d sit on the yoga mat in my bedroom for twenty or forty minutes quieting my mind. (If my mind has an “off” switch, I’ve never found it. Even as a child, I’d lay in bed processing the day … rehearsing future conversations … thinking …)

Anyway, last month, I had an epiphany of sorts – the good kind, not the kind where I fall and give myself a concussion J. Kay and I were in the kitchen. I’d said something that hadn’t set well with her and she needed me to understand her perspective. A fair request. But I wanted to fix dinner. The kitchen was messy – a stressor for me. Feeling overwhelmed and not wanting to get into an argument, I asked her rather passionately to go somewhere for a bit. We could talk later.

As background, my mother and brother had left that morning after a three-day visit. We’d had a good visit, but as soon as they left my inner-critic had reminded me of how much I still needed to do. I’d spend the day working in the yard, pressured to get the gardens to a point where they could maintain themselves when I left for Wausau. I was tired, dehydrated, stressed by my self-imposed timeline, and hungry.

My lovely daughter persevered. And I sat there on the kitchen stool trying not to explode. (After all, it wasn’t her fault I was in this place.) Using my meditation practice to help, I focused on my breathing and also closed my eyes whenever a wave of stress threatened to swamp me.

Amazingly, a few minutes into the conversation, I realized that I was doing better. I was actually hearing Kay through the noise of my frazzled state. I kept breathing slowly. Out. In. Eyes closed, I remembered where my center is. Eyes open, I focused on her plight. Out. In.

“Wow!” I though, “this meditation stuff really does work!” Halfway through our dialog, I was definitely in a better place. I could tell Kay that I understood where she was coming from. We made dinner and enjoyed the rest of our evening. Maybe I’m getting this human relations thing (finally!)

I guess I’m going to have to keep up this meditation practice…